The Ascension
by Nithke
Summary: The end of Revolutions sucks, but the problem is, I cannot change it. I can, however, write a dramatic fic about what happened to Trinity after she died...a ghost story, sort of.


            The end of Revolutions does not make sense. I hate it.  It leaves the circle broken and fractured. I've tried to complete it in the best way I know how, by writing a fanfiction story about life after death. First section is angsty and disgusting, but second is better, and I really do like the third. Thank you, come again!

 -Nithke

The Ascension

The plugs are in the woman, her dark hair spread out on the chair's headrest.

Their metal pierces her body as she lies. She waits for the separation of entering that difference of mind and muscle. All she has to do is open her eyes and they will be behind the smooth oblivion of sunglasses.

But when she does, there is no blissful sepia tone, only pain. Throbbing and burning inside her, thrumming from the spikes in the torso that is not invincible but, after all, flesh. 

Is blood supposed to flow from the plug?

Her haze-filled eyes follow a rivulet down the side of the body. It should be soaked up into a dark stain on grey fabric. But there is too much of it to be contained by fibers, and instead it gushes in a torrent that would have felt warm, if she could feel anything.

And it comes back.

_Oh, God…_

She remembers the crunching of metal and echo, patterns of light as sparks hail. She is not in the familiar loading chair, after all. She is in another ship, where there is only lost hope and death. She throbs inside and out. Her mind hurts from comprehending. 

Instead of down her spine, the plugs are in her stomach, now. Metal that rips tissue and opens dams of blood over her shirt. And they aren't familiar tubes, but ones too thick. _This is wrong. Isn't it wrong?_

Wave after wave…_This is too much…Please, please, stop…_

Deep below the blanket of red, she finds a memory to hold on to. The dead ship's nose parts clouds, bright light finds her as she rushes through them. Paradise opens. She sees the sun for the first time ever. _For one second, to see a shadow of the old world as it really is, not the Matrix's version, but real_. And strangely, it does not seem to be that far away. _I could go there, couldn't I, if I just---_

Then suddenly through thrumming beats, she hears a noise next to her. Someone is stirring. Blinded eyes strain to open, and resort to calling her name. Dear God, _him_. She has forgotten about _him_. In her moment of clarity, she cannot leave, for reasons she does not have time to remember but she _cannot leave_. Let her stay, please, whoever responsible had better let her stay---If she does not stay, nevermore, never again---

Then a new wave comes, and she forgets.

She feels so much and yet nothing, when suddenly she is called, again, simultaneously. Both from this world and the next. A tugging is at her, its siren call promising peace from the relentless torrent, overshadowing his frightened words. The pain envelops her, fogging her senses and injuring judgment. Does she know she is dying?

It is so easy to go back through the clouds…so hard to stay…

He is begging, she is saying she has to leave. She speaks to him--- she is trying to show him her, now, all of her, not just the chinks that shine through her iron wall---but it is not working, her lips cannot form the words. What comes out of her mouth is not what she is trying to say, but a banal dialogue that is calm and collected, not eloquent or meaningful. _This hurts._

Yes, it is time to go. 

She begs a goodbye caress---

And so he kisses her, and she releases herself from the agony, to be in it nevermore.

* * * *

Once again, her eyes open. But now the fog of anguish is gone.

What…_Why am I floating?_

She is staring at a person vaguely familiar, but faintly wrong. It is different than it should be. 

_Why is all that metal attached? _

The face is closed and hard. Then it hits her that she has never seen this person before—_Except__ in mirrors or pictures or dreams---_

_Shit!_

She yells, a wordless scream of rage as what she has done comes back to her. Now that the halo of pain is gone, she realizes what has happened.

_I'm dead…_

But she cannot yell, can she? Since she no longer has a mouth. 

_Oh my God, what have I done, what have I done? No! This can't be happening!_

Logic and reason has returned, and she remembers how she gave up in her final battle.

Pain had blinded her then, but rage is blinding her now. As her soul halts in the aerial passage, she lashes out at her prostrate body--- 

_You worthless, you piece of shit, how dare you? _

_How _dare_ you be so weak? You let go, you useless--So _what_ if you were bleeding? Life is waiting for us! How could you give in? I had _him_! I do not care how damn _agonized_ you were, I just want to live! You forgot about our responsibility? Is that it? Now he's alone and blinded in a metal desert, all because of _you_, Trinity!  And at the end, you didn't even care enough to give him your real self. You hid your face and died. How dare you?_ How dare you?

She bashes herself furiously, frantically against the body. _Let me in! I don't care if you're functioning or not. I don't have time for all of this shit! Let me in! I could still save him, maybe…! _

But the body does not listen. It is a closed portal. Already it has begun to harden in death, forever to lie in a twisted heap of metal. The blood has congealed, though the skin may still be warm.

_Then I don't care what becomes of me. Did you hear me? That's right. I'm worthless._

 Sudden motion towards the torso catches her eye. 

A small light shines through. Something is passing through the broken skin, something small and round. If she had breath, the woman would sob. A baby's head breaks through, following the tiny arm made from light. It is a body like her own new one, insubstantial and unreal but still there, and as her child is born eight months early to fly away to wings of sun, Trinity can only weep in her mind. _I didn't even _know_. If I had known, I wouldn't even be here, would I? _

She stretches out her hand to catch it as it floats upward. _Let me hold it once----_

But they cannot connect…the child goes through her outstretched fingers like water in sunlight---_No! Just once, please, please, please—_But it floats up and away---

When she touches it, something happens. For the fleeting second, she can sense something. Memories of a warm dark world that's full of liquid and waiting. And happiness that she has never known, bliss of the innocent.

But she ignores it in her sadness of wanting.

_Stay, please stay---There was so much ahead, and now all is lost. Because of _YOU!

She doesn't know who she's talking to.

The child is overhead, now, its bright body silhouetted against the raging sky. 

She follows it up frantically. _If it had grown, I would have chased it as it crawled---I have to touch it one more time, I have to hold it in my arms, whether it's here or above the clouds---_

They are close to the cloud cover now—She does not care what becomes of her spirit, only to not have failed someone---

_I can't fail again—_

The baby passes through the thunderheads' mist and disappears---

_Let me have a little more life---_

She prepares to dive beyond the fog---

And is hurled backwards.

The way is shut. 

She cannot get through to her child.

She tries fifty times more. She is frantic.

If you cannot live and cannot die, what happens?

The clouds crackle above her. She swears at the sun and the temptation of peace. _How could it be paradise without him? You idiot, you stupid fucking moron! _

_So this is how it's going to be. Trapped forever in the neverworld._ Her guilt is a rock around her neck, weighing her to the earth._ This is my punishment, isn't it? Of course. I left when I should have stayed…_

_And now I'm leaving him again! How could I forget?! I don't even know what's happened to him! _The panic swells once more. Tears would be welling in the throat that never weeps.

She pictures him in her mind: the way he is, not blinded and reeling, but the way he really is, deep inside. Behind the sunglasses and the scars. 

And when she looks next, she sees him.

* * *

_            Neo?!_

            It can't be. How can she have traveled in an instant?

            But there he is. 

            Once again, she's floating in the sky. This time, though, it is not her pallid face she sees, but his; a cloth binding his wounded eyes, a nothing look upon his face. 

            _You can't be---_

But…but he isn't. He breathes. This is how he used to look when he would sit and his mind would travel without him, wearing a black coat and glasses. And is he in a chair? A portal, a tangle of wires…(her torso shudders at the memory)…He is in the other world. 

            Movement behind her---She whirls, and would gasp if she could. A mockery of a face, giant and metallic, is watching him. It cannot see her. What has it done to him? The mastermind of enslavement floats level with her, no hint of expression to two who have fought it for so long.

            This isn't her problem now. 

            She goes down to him. His face is screwed up in concentration. Suddenly, his entire body jerks violently, again and again. _This is how he looked when he fought…_a sob wells in her mind. 

_            Don't give up, Neo---- _

But if he gives up, maybe--

            _No! You selfish bitch, you…how can you kill him? If he dies, it will be your fault. Completely and utterly. Then his spirit will rush past you like the baby's, and forever, and he'll be lost---because you can't go up there, remember… But what is left for him except death? He is blind. He will die here eventually. It will be all your fault, and this guilt will tie you to the earth forever._

_ Forever happens either way—No! God, no!_

Light shoots out of him like the baby's birth. He is consumed by it, he is a sphere of tendrils then white pure light. 

She goes to him, to touch him one last time before _she doesn't know what _happens to him---

And she feels it again. That sharing tangency she felt when she touched the baby's tiny spirit. The knowing completely, the sense she felt when they would lie next to each other and feel heartbeats. She can hear him think. 

And she hears----two at once---

_(What is happening?) Die, die, you bastard, just once, leave for good! (Our programming should not allow this---)It ends here, Smith! Be gone! (The light is winning, we cannot let that----) Yeah, well, you will--- (This is a novel way of fighting, Mr. Anderso—One---) Know thine enemy, Agent. Know thine enemy. I know you now, and I am not killing you, but becoming you. (Data…erasing…the program is being-- returned to source---) And in becoming you I will destroy you. I do not care what becomes of me. She is gone, and it's all my fault. "Nevermore, cried the Raven, cried the Raven, never---never---never…"_

_No! _she cries.

He is dying. 

And suddenly she has a clear moment, through the haze of nevermore. 

_Neo, Neo, listen to me. _

_I know why I'm stuck, now! You have to care what happens to you, you can't give up on afterlife just because someone you love is dead. You will be stuck here too. It's my guilt that's tying me to the earth, Neo, please hear me, please. You have to move on. I know there is something wonderful up there because I've seen it, Neo, the sunlight and the clouds, there's something wonderful on this earth and the best thing you can do now is to just give up on me. Please. Please. God, let him hear me---_

The light fades.

And he goes.

_(You're out of bullets, Mr. Anderson----)_

_So are you…Goodbye, Smith._

Now there is only one soul in the chair. The body settles down to it again. Trinity goes to it once more, holds it in her ghostly arms one more time, as she did when he died once. She kisses its lips, and this time she lets the tears pour out.

_Did you hear me, Neo----please let him hear me---_

She hears his thoughts in death. _Go towards the light. Who told me that?_

_It was me…_ she replies with a sob. _He can't, can he--_

_What---Who is that?....It can't be…_

_It is!_

_Trin! Trin, you're alive! You're here!_

_No, I'm not. And neither are you. We are supposed to be someplace else entirely. Oh, God, I missed you so much!_

As she says that, he rises out of his prone body. The plugs move sinuously, shafting him onto a platform that moves along the earth. Tendrils seem to bow. But neither of them notices. 

She is embracing him, he is kissing her. He holds her in his arms, and she rejoices in knowing and feeling.

_Shall we go?_

_Yes._

She takes his hand. _This way._

They fly up in the sky once more. Except this time, they're together.

_Neo?__ There's something I have to tell you._

_What is it?_

_We have a child._

The clouds open for Trinity this time. The guilt is gone, so she may go. And as they pass through into Paradise, someone is waiting above them--- someone infant no longer, but a presence. She smiles, takes her father's hand, and goes up with her parents. 

And even as they return to the light from which all things came, they will be parted nevermore. 

(After reading this, I would be forced to conclude that yes, it is angst. Damn. Oh well. But I like it. Punk'd all the Sisterhood readers, anyway. Heh.)


End file.
